UnKnWn Dilemmas: Effects of College Life

How many weeks has it been…?

3?

4?

7…?

It’s been that much time since I’ve been in college. I’ve been having fun with having just 3 classes per day, but this week’s the first time I’ve been problemizing such a feat. Forgive me for my rant, but this can best serve as the explanation for why the blog’s always dead.

First off, I’d like to thank OtaCom for the most recent post. At least this blog doesn’t die out too often. XD

So, before I go off to the main reason I made this post, I’ll note what stuff have passed before I could have even reviewed about them the week they were translated into English.

kosak

There are only 2 ongoing manga series that have existing reviews here: Nisekoi and To Love-ru Darkness. I missed 2 months’ worth of both series, I think. Since Nisekoi is weekly, and To Love-ru Darkness is monthly, I missed at least 8 chapters for Nisekoi and 2 chapters for TL-R. But I think I missed more than that. I don’t know how to make up for that. Probably a review on another recent? Sad life is sad. Probably that, reviews for those I’ve missed and a review on a finished series I have yet to complete. Yes. This can make the blog alive.

Coming soon... Hanada best girl!

And, yeah, the reason I blog post recently is to practice my writing of reviews even further. They become too general at first, but if I become immersed, there will you see how much more I can say about something. I’m usually the type of person who finds it hard to describe something just given my 5 senses. When you give me food and ask me, “How does it taste?”, this becomes more of a yes or no question. Rather, good or bad question. When you ask me “How does this person look like?”, I can’t give you a good answer unless that person has very defining features. Relate this to blog posting, if I review something off the bat so I can just post something, they’ll feel more lacking in content despite being a thousand-ish words long…

At least Rin has good senses. :v

I don’t even know why I made the paragraph above. Damn me. What do I really want to say in this post…?

Okay, more and more apologies. The blog isn’t getting too much attention. I’m sorry for my mates in the blog, but they haven’t done that much to begin with, anyway. So, I guess I’m sorry for myself as well, I guess. And sorry to those who’ve liked my posts and are expecting something new every week. I hope you weren’t. ;(

Let’s see… More excuses? Besides my gaming life getting ahead of me, I’ve gotten the greatest excuse to be busy with something with an importance that rose above the blog. And that tomfoolery would be my college life.

But before I delve into my college life so far, gaming life update, I guess? I can only play Hearthstone, Love Live!: School Idol Festival, and Clash of Clans as my form of entertainment. They all need Internet, so if I don’t have Internet, GG. As for Weiss Schwarz, I need other people for that, but we all in the NOHK are busy with college life. Well, at least ruo and I find time and even a place to play Weiss Schwarz in a hobby shop in front of Ateneo de Manila University. Other than that, nothing. :v I can’t even motivate myself to write either my fanfics or anything in the blog. T_T

And to summarize those above, in Hearthstone, I have all my heroes to at least Level 34. I got my 5th Legendary card excluding expansion cards. I garnered some number of wins with my heroes on Ranked. Last season, I went up Rank 9. Currently standing at Rank 12. Well, two good cards are being nerfed on the 22nd, so RIP in peace Leeroy Jenkins and most especially Starving Buzzard. You will be missed. How will I get to 500 wins with my Hunter now? 😦

And currently Rank 8 this season~

Love Live! School Idol Festival: Rank 61, ever so close to getting to Rank 84 so I can get Alkaeid the epic metal-ish song “after school NAVIGATORS” to play. Man, this song is killer! How to put this in the blog instead of linking it like this? XD Getting Rares through just the Live Shows are epic. And, just like that, the Rare collection is almost complete. Just needing Rin and Nozomi’s Wonderful Rush modules. 2 more to go. XD

How...

Clash of Clans, well. Nothing special over there. Gaming died out after our clan became semi-inactive with wars and gaming in general.

Now for the main story:

I’m in trouble.

I need help.

But I can’t ask for any…

Rolling.Girl.240.1521306

That’s all because of the “academic dishonesty” thing the university has. That in itself forbids the simple “talking about the project”.

So, I’m simply saying I’m having trouble with the current project my professor gave for my major. How so?

Again, I’m sorry for ranting on a supposedly wholesome anime and manga blog like this, but since I’m kinda sure no one would really mind, I’ll continue. After all, this will explain my lack of blog post for the next days and some days to come.

First: It’s about sorting rational roots. The program we were to make has specifications that don’t seem obvious to do. And apparently, it’s our job to create everything from scratch. A programmer’s work is just never done.

If this only applied to me when it comes to coding...

Second: I get the feeling we’re just taught concepts and not applications. Probably because that is the case. They keep saying we’re no longer being spoon-fed in college. My take on it: “I’m not asking you to spoon-fed me. I just want to learn how I can feed myself.” Where do I start? It’s like I’m a Level 1 Apprentice joining a Level 999 Wizard’s ventures towards the 40 levels of a certain dungeon. (Did I get the ref right? :v) How do I start things off? I can now say that I don’t know how to do things if I don’t get a sample first. I now get the feeling that I lack originality. I always need a basis for everything. And now that I look back, I guess that is how I do things. I can no longer avoid it. How I became like this is beyond me.

Rin, please. XD

Third: The margin of error is becoming seemingly slimmer every time I see a post in the Computer Science group of my university. The prof will check the program through a checker, and that checker is pretty, pretty freaking sensitive that an extra line or anything seemingly unnecessary will mark the work wrong. With that notion, how wrong is wrong? If it’s wrong, is it a fail? Or if it’s wrong, it’s just a portion of it that’s wrong, and I still get the points I deserve with just some minor deductions?

Fourth: I can’t ask for help on everything above. Well, at least to my batchmates. But, I don’t know anyone else who can help me with this biz. Requiem’s using C, Alkaeid hasn’t had this lesson and project yet, so I’m on my own. As I asked myself a hundred times, “Where in Hell do I start with this??”

I’m feeling something weird inside me right now. I feel so uneasy whenever I think about the project. I always keep thinking “I can’t do this!” or “How the Hell do you start?”. I can’t describe this feeling. This feeling of head-scratchiness. That feeling like you’re stuck with something because you don’t know how to do this certain thing. That intense feeling of wanting to give up before even starting. If there was a word for this, it’d be a new word in the dictionary. Couple this up with other classes’ homework or activities needed to be submitted or done and boom. A perfect recipe for disaster.

Madoka help me. I have the feeling that BS Computer Science isn’t for someone like me. I always get the feeling that I want to shift courses. If I fail here, I guess I have no choice but to continue something I’ve found myself to stand a chance at: writing.

Someone. Anyone. Just help me get through this Machine Problem. And probably 3 more Machine Problems. Just these, and then I’d assess myself. I need my inspirations.

You know, because of these and partly my own carelessness, I’m finding difficulty in my college life. I’m barely getting to read more manga and watch more anime already. I need a change in my life, and I guess this would be the time to look for that change. Should I leave this dream for later so I can become greater at something I feel comfortable at, or do I persevere, giving up all my energy for something better in the future?

This post may be a blur, but remember this:

I’m in trouble with my own major course. The minors, save my speech class and philosophy class, are bringing me more trouble than expected. Madoka help me. I need to get through these at least barely.

So at that, don’t expect new posts from me until, probably the end of the month. If my co-authors get motivated enough (and I really hope they do), then please read their work. I feel already thankful to you for simply taking your time to visit this small blog of ours. I have huge hopes with the gang in the future, and right now, because of my current adversities, I’m worried about that future. /sigh

I’m very sorry for the rant post, guys. I just can’t handle my CS11 project anymore. I need help… ;(

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